Monday, December 26, 2005

Psychoanalysis: Part 5

Suddenly, I be back in Steve de Spider's padded cell. I knew it still be de dream sequence, though, because I be one foot tall.
Steve de Spider: So, what have we learned?
Yarael: I don'na have ta hate de green riddle monkey, because it don't be his fault I be dead. I don'na need revenge on Jango Fett and Zam Wessel 'cause dey be dead already. I don'na need ta hunt down de Jedi Temple's gas station attendant because...well... I should'a been checken me starfighter's oil tank more often.
Steve de Spider: But you're still here, aren'tcha? There's probably one more thing we need ta find, I reckon. And you just found it. Look more carefully at the last bit.
Yarael: Me oil tank... o' course! Me mechanic should'a found dat, mon!
Steve de Spider: Do you remember who that mechanic was? Think, buddy.
Yarael: A toydarian... I tink 'is name be Obaja.
Steve de Spider: Which, by a great and astounding coincidence, is one of the aliases of the criminally incompetant Coruscant mechanic, Bojaa.
Yarael: I know dat name! I worked for 'im for a while after I died!
Steve de Spider: Exactly. You tipped the cops off about one of his more... insanely psychotic screwups, didn'tcha?
Yarael: I did, yah.
Steve de Spider: There's your revenge.
Yarael: Hey, mon! Dat be no fair! I died, he got left off wit' a warning!
Steve de Spider: Yes, and no. He got let off with a warning, yeah, but that meant that he *didn't* get let off after his next screwup. I think that was blowing up Jar Jar's air-con. Due to the massive radiation damage to the lower city in that suberb, he was sent to prison for twelve years.
Yarael: Ah, good enough.
I start shrinkin again... and stop at half a foot.
Steve de Spider: What is this, Zeno's paradox? How many "last resentments" are we going ta go through?
Yarael: Just de one, I tink.
Steve de Spider: Go on.
Yarael: Do jah remember me duel wit Jar Jar? Dat never got finished.
Steve de Spider: Well, I can't just bring him here to finish the-
Yarael: No, no. I want revenge on de dude who got de duel stopped. Chancellor Palpatine.
Steve de Spider: Eh? How-
Yarael: Long story short, he gave Jar Jar a bottle o' fake potion and Jawajuice had ta call de duel off due ta outside interference.
Steve de Spider: So, I suppose you going up to him invisibly and shouting Boo! is completely out of the question, then?
Yarael: Yah, mon. He needs someting special. Jah know, next year be de year 2006000000. A lot o' people be worried about dem six zeroes on de end, mon, cause dey tink dat de world be gonna end. De same bunch o' lunatics show up every time dere be a lot o' zeroes on de end o' de year. Perhaps if I can trick him inta tinken de world really *is* ending...


Blogger Master Yoda said...

Hmm, the Billenium Bug, yes. Programmers working on the computers at the Temple working on this, we have

2:03 PM  

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