Friday, December 23, 2005

Psychoanalysis: Part 4

Zam Wessel: One, two, three, HEAVE!
Yarael Poof: Hnrg!
Jango Fett: Hrrg!
Me memory o' everyting up ta dis bit was hazy, mon. But I could see dis part as clear as de nose on me- wait. Dere don't be no nose on me face. Well, it be a figure o' speech, jah know? Me and Jango be tryen ta move de box wit' dis weapon thingy in it. Zam was doin someting she called moral support. It did'na be worken, mon.
Yarael: Dis be hopeless! We can'na move dis ting!
Zam: Oh, come on! Think happy thoughts, and you can do it!
Jango: It's no use, Zam. Yarael, can you move it with the force?
Yarael: Hey, I know Yoda got dat whole "size matters not" ting going, but none o' de other Jedi believe a word o' it, mon. It be too damn heavy.
Zam: Well can't you try? You'll never do anything if you don't try!
Yarael: Fine, mon.
I waved all four o' me arms at it. I can remember focusin' me mind for dis. It was de last really big use o' de force I did before I died, mon. And it worked. De big box moved.
Jango: Impressive.
Zam: Whoohoo! You did it! Good work!
Yarael: Let's get dis ting out o' here, mon.
We were celebraten', mon, but we did'na know what did be comin' next. As we were headen' back to de ship, we were ambushed. De bandits got de box back, and decided ta use de weapon while dey still could. So dere did be only de one option left: fight our way to de self-destruct mechanism and blow de whole ship ta kingdom come.
Zam: Hmm... this big red button with "Self Destruct Sequence" printed on it looks like a likely choice.
Jango: You don't say.
Yarael: Well, press it and let's be getten' out o' here, mon!
Zam pressed de button and we ran back ta our starfighters. But dere did be a problem. My fighter was out o' gas. And I'd just had it filled up at de temple dat morning, mon! Zam and Jango got out, I did'na, mon. De spaceship went kablammo, and-
Steve the Spider: Hold it, hold it. What's this flashback supposed to be showing us? I don't get it.
Yarael: I do, mon. De gas station attendant at de Jedi Temple. I did'na catch his name, mon. To dis day, I be convinced he swindled me, did'na give me de gas for me fighter. Because o' dat, I died.
Steve the Spider: So that oil leak there didn't have anything to do with it?
Yarael: What?
Steve the Spider: Right there, below the left engine. See? Left unchecked, that could run your whole tank dry in a matter of hours.
Yarael: ...oh.
I shrank down ta only a foot tall. If Steve be right, I be gonna leave for de ether pretty soon, mon.

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