Monday, December 12, 2005

Psychoanalysis: Part 2

Wit' me eyes closed, I drifted into de dream world. Slowly, images took shape in the greyish smoke all around me. I was floaten in de council chamber. I was also standen in de middle o' de council chamber. Dis be de memory o' my briefing before me final mission, mon.
Yoda: Go you must to recover this artifact. Grave danger we are all in if allowed to keep it these bandits are. Capable of destroying Coruscant with its power, this item is. If get it back you cannot, delay the attack you must, until get back from Naboo, Jar Jar does. If going to die are we, at least take him with us we can!
Yarael: Why do I got ta go, mon? Dis really gonna be messen' wit' de younglings' bongo practise. Where I be gonna find a substitute teacher?
Mace: Look, man, bongos aren't important. While you're away, I'll fill in for your classes and teach the younglings to be pretty!
Yarael: Damn. Now dey gonna be bald and shiny when I be comen' back.
Yoda: Listen to me you must, mmm? Important this is! Attention I crave!
Yarael: What it be now, mon?
Yoda: The bounty hunters who stole this artifact and gave this to the bandits in the first place, Jango Fett and Zam Wessel are. However, know they did not that used to destroy the planet it could be. Since know they now do, agreed to help us retrieve it they have.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Very sporting of them, wouldn't you agree?
Yarael: So, I got ta find dese bounty hunters and, wit' dere help, steal back dis wierd bad-juju ting so dat de bandits can'na destroy Coruscant wit' it? All in a day's work, mon. In fact, it be so easy dat jah could probably send someone else. Like Obi. I waved me hand in Yoda's direction at dis bit, mon. Jah will send Obi-Wan on dis mission, mon.
Yoda: Send Kenobi on this mission I wi- Wait! Use mind-tricks on me, you must not! Cheating it is! Going are you, and final this is!
Yarael: Hmph. Fine.
Everyone left de council chambers. Den, Steve de Spider appeared.
Steve the Spider: So, whaddaya think of that? Now that you've seen this flashback, do you think maybe you know what your unfinished business is?
Dream-Yarael: Yoda... dat little green riddle monkey. He could have sent any jedi, mon, but he insisted on choosing me.
Steve the Spider: So d'ya think you stayed behind to get revenge on Yoda?
Dream-Yarael: Maybe...
Steve the Spider: But Yoda didn't know you were going to die. He sent ya on the mission, yeah, but it's not really his *fault*, is it? Besides, he's a good customer, man.
Dream-Yarael: Jah be right. And I kept sayen' how easy de mission was gonna be... Jah can't really blame him for not tinking I was gonna die dere.
Den, suddenly, I got smaller. Wit' me enormous neck, I be almost seven feet tall normally. Now I be only five feet tall all of a sudden.
Dream-Yarael: What in de name o' voodoo just happened?
Steve the Spider: It's symbolic. This is a dream sequence, you know? So the symbolism runs rampant. When I met my old buddy Yoda in a dream sequence on Tatooine, I got smaller and smaller as he got less and less afraid of me.
Dream-Yarael: So... I be getten' less afraid o' meself?
Steve the Spider (rolling all eight of his eyes): No. One of the reasons you had for staying behind as a force-ghost doesn't exist anymore, and part of your presence in the physical world disappeared with it, you know what I'm saying?
Dream-Yarael: Eh... no.
Steve the Spider: Well, outside this flashback, you'll still be the same size. But here, you'll keep getting smaller as we find and eliminate your reasons to stay behind. Eventually, you'll shrink down to the size of an atom and just pop into the ether, right? You've gotta still have reasons to be here, so let's go and find them, buddy!


Blogger flu said...

Hey, if you shrink down fast enough, there might be a *POOF* sound when you actually disappear!

7:03 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Like watching Dr Phil, this is.

10:36 AM  

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