Thursday, December 01, 2005

Freedom... not for me, though

Everyting went according to plan, mon... up to de point where we start executing de plan. Me lightsabre's battery fizzled while I be cuttin' through de wall. I been meanin' ta get dat replaced for... eh... six months or so. I be kinda surprised it lasted dis long. O' course, I had Bob de Bantha ta fall back on (Yoda was only too glad ta get rid o' 'im for a few hours, mon - dey be doing some kinda wierd group therapy ting).
I pointed 'im away from de wall, took cover, put on me heavy-duty leather gloves, and shouted "Pickle, mon!"
Turns out Bob de Bantha be damn good artillery, for a blind, nervous bantha wit' a severe gas problem.

Meanwhile, in de prison, Jar Jar's potatoes turned out ta be infected wit' some kind o' blight, so de kitchen staff threw dem out. Never put jah plan's fate in de hands o' a Gungan who hates jah. So, de prisoners never got me bolt-cutters. Dey managed to break out o' their cells, though. Turns out one o' dem had a relative wit' connections in Uncle Jinn & JJ's brownie corporation, and had 'is own plans for escapen. His family sent 'im a package o' spiced brownies, and dey gave 'im super-strength! He broke de bars and set all de prisoners free!

But den, as I was about to use me mind tricks on de guards... I realised dat dey all be toydarians. Just perfect. It be like someone knew I be coming! Dey surrounded me and captured me, mon! Dat be no fair! I be outnumbered ten to one, and I did'na have time ta shout "pickle"! De good knews be dat all o' Brett's smuggler friends snuck out through de hole what Bob blew in de wall. De bad news be dat I be locked up in a padded room, awaiting... psychiatric treatment?

What disturbs me be dat all de prison guards were force-immune. It can'na be a coincidence dat all o' dem were toydarian. No way. Someone must have known... but who did I tell about me plan?
Brett... but he be de one who put me up to it in de first place.
Jar Jar... he sent me blighted potatoes, but he don't have de scheming mind or de connections for dis, mon.
Yoda... I had ta borrow Bob from him, yah? But who could he have told? Obi? Ani? Mace?
I tink I be gonna find out soon...


Blogger flu said...

*POOF* escaped with a *POOT*

what o *HOOT*!

2:16 PM  

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