Friday, September 02, 2005

At Peace... Almost - Part 3

Inside Rooku McDooku's warehouse on Serenno, Yarael Poof is presented to the Branch Manager by General Grievous, looking left and right for an opportunity to steal or destroy the secret recipies for McDooku's dark-side-tainted fatty meals...

General Grievous: Here you *ah-k'oahch**hack* are, sir. This spirit Jedi was trying to get in and inspect the warehouse for giant bugs.
The Branch Manager, cloaked in shadow, waves his hand and mutters. Yarael strains to hear, but can't make it out.
General Grievous: But sir - *cough**aaah-KOOFHA* Yes, sir.
General Grievous turns and leaves the room, already shouting at his pit droids. The Branch Manager steps forward out of the shadows, showing himself to be...

Jawajuice's crazy uncle E'etooi!

Unfortunately, all Jawas look the same to Yarael.
Yarael: Jawajuice? What jah be doin' here, mon?
E'etooi (momentarily taken aback, but quickly recovers): Uh... yes, it is I, Jawajuice! I've been working for Rooku McDooku all along, to produce cheap fatty fast food and turn billions of teenagers to the Dark Side of cuisine!
Yarael: But... why?
E'etooi: Well, isn't it obvious? If I can overthrow McDooku, *I'll* be the one in control of this whole enterprise! Then, I'll have control of all the light-siders who worship at the altar of Uncle Jinn & JJ, *and* all the dark-siders who devour McDooku's fatty food! But once I *really* control Uncle Jinn & JJ's, I'll shut the place down and use the revenue for McDooku's!
Yarael: Sorry, mon, I did'na catch de last bit.
E'etooi: Eh? Oh, never mind. So, now that you know what's going on, I want you to... uh... oh, I know: ASSASSINATE QUI-GON JINN!
Yarael: But, Qui-Gon's jah friend, mon! And I only be helpin' jah so I can get *his* help!
E'etooi: Oh. Well... ah... never mind, then. Perhaps you'd like to... uh... *sample* some of our dishes?
Yarael: But dem fast food dishes be of de Dark Side o' cuisine!
E'etooi: Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly, Yarael. Would you like to sample some of our dishes?
Yarael (eyes glaze over): Yah... I be liken to sample some of jah dishes...
E'etooi: Excellent... come this way...

Yarael, now under the influence of Jawajuice's nefarious (and crazy) uncle E'etooi, follows him into the shadows, to taste fatty, greasy fast food that has only been seen before in the nightmares of master chefs...


Blogger flu said...

Uh-Oh... enter the Eeotie

7:54 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Uncle E'etooi!!!! Can it be true!!!
One day you were just alone and forgotten in your little trailer park haven, busy working on your road-kill taxidermy collection and the next you're working for McDooku's!?!?
hmmm...considering the food they serve, I guess it isn't much of a stretch.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Commando: Rage said...

Is it time for Alpha Squad to come in Master Yareal Sir!

10:54 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...


1:31 AM  

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