Sunday, September 18, 2005

Another day, another job, next please.

I be approached in de street today by a smiling Toydarian (a rare ting in itself, mon), who be asken me to take a job at his hardware store. I didn't be knowen why he chose me, but I took de job anyway. Jah be a moron, Yarael, mon...
De hardware store, Bojaa's Junk and Stuff, be one o' de most disgusting cesspools of poor hygeine and malpractice I ever be seein', mon. But it be a job. I was made de cashier dere.

De first customer be looken for a wrench. So simple... Bojaa spent ten minutes rooting through a pile of rusted metal at de back o' de shop, picked out a piece o' corroded iron, and bent it into a wrench shape. De customer was a Mon Calimari, and his skin be quite weak. De sharp corners o' de wrench are not tings dat amphibious creatures should be handling, mon. It did not be a deep or big cut, but Bojaa tried to dress de wound. It would have been kinder not to - de poor guy had to go to hospital when de cut was infected. Dis shop be full o' virulent oozes.

Den, we had a Dug here. Now, Dugs be mean and nasty as a rule, but even so, he did not be desrven it, mon. He be wanten a plasma cell. Bojaa be tellen him dat we not be haven any plasma cells here. But we did, mon, dere was one on de shelf right behind him, and de Dug pointed dis out. Bojaa picken up de cell, and handen it over. After de Dug left, Bojaa washed his hands and explained dat de cell had a leak, and he didn't be wanten to have plasma all over his hands. I be sayen dat maybe he shouldn't have sold a leaky cell.
"Hey, it ain't going to hurt nobody unless he sticks in in a speeder, eh?"
De next minute, an ambulance be comen past de shop, and we heard somebody talken about an exploden speeder.

I resigned (but not before tippen de police off).


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